Kar Fu: The ancient Art of Car Fighting

the lost art of car fighting has been recovered just in time to stop the Carcinisation of Humanity!
a martial arts project by Iason Ragnar Bellerophon, 2025

​Imagine a clandestine martial discipline whispered about in greasy back-alleys and highway rest stops—Kar Fu, the ancient art of car fighting. This uproarious manual presents a tongue-in-cheek “lost tradition” of pedestrian martial arts that teaches you how to call upon animal totems, perfect your breath, and literally flip, hurl, or dismantle automobiles with a single touch. Equal parts faux-Sufi mysticism and National Lampoon satire, The Art of Kar Fu arms you with absurdly over-serious techniques for surviving—and dominating—the urban jungle, one fender-bender at a time. 

“To halt the hundred-mile thunder of the school bus, first allow the sparrow to perch upon your finger—only then may you lay a hand upon the steel beast.”
— Master Kar Fu, Whisperings of the Rolling Path

Under molten sky I dance upon steel--
one drunken finger parts the world,
and glass petals bloom into shards
that scatter like lotus on wind.

From fractured mirror, the tiger’s spirit roars,
its fangs blazing through asphalt’s skin;
I, cold-mountain hermit in flight,
laugh into the sunset’s throat.

Time fractures in each shard of light,
emptiness roaring aloud at speed;
a single touch, and all things shatter--
yet in the breaking, none remain.

Drink deep, O wayfarer, of dust and dusk,
for even a roaring chariot must rest;
beneath shattered heavens and shattered glass,
we find the quiet heart of the world.